


Grave Robber

by UnicornForceWinds



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cunnilingus, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Grind Dancing, Internalized racism, Light BDSM, Masochism, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, POV Alternating, POV Solas, Rivalmance, Rough Sex, Sadism, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 01:08:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7018813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornForceWinds/pseuds/UnicornForceWinds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ell Lavellan makes her living by scavenging Elvhen ruins and selling the spoils that lay within. She lives a solitary life, and that's the way she likes it. Work is dangerous sometimes, but it pays the bills.</p><p>Things are going pretty well for her, and the last thing she needs is some million year old nutcase flipping her world on its head. He thinks she's a grave robber, and she thinks he and his opinion can fuck right off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spiders

First impressions, while important, weren’t everything. Sometimes, a book’s cover made you think that nothing worthwhile was written on its pages, but Ell knew to always take a deeper look. Sometimes, you got jack and shit, but then there were days like today, where she hit pay dirt.

From the outside, the ruin appeared to be totally collapsed and in a shambles, enough that most scavs would move on and not waste their time. How long had this place been buried, waiting patiently for someone to wander inside and take what she had to offer? Thousands of years, an age beyond reckoning, when elves were immortal gods and magic came as natural as breathing.

Would’ve been nice to have more than just the little flicker, could’ve moved the rubble a whole lot easier. Still, account full of credits and belly full of food, she had no right to complain, and she wouldn’t. Besides, something in her gut told said that all the work would be worth the reward. Far be it for her to question the wisdom of a stomach, but she was inclined to believe it if only out of hope.

Took a few hours to get everything cleared, at least well enough to pass, and for just a moment she considered unpacking her bedroll. Stupid idea that, having no idea what dangers could potentially be lurking here. Grabbing an energy bar from her pack, she downed a few bites and pressed forward.

She was in some kind of hallway, but it was bathed in darkness. The lantern helped, but it wasn’t ideal and when her eye caught on an unlit torch, she couldn’t help the cautious smile spreading across her face. One day her luck would run out, how many times had she been told that? Maybe it would, sure, but not today. At least, not yet.

With a small flourish of her wrist and a little concentration, the veilfire came to life and she extinguished her lamp. Otherworldly green light shone down the passage, illuminating the worn stone around her. Anticipation and excitement swirled together in her veins, and she shook herself off with an air of reproach.

“Don’t get cocky. There’s _no_ room for ego. You start getting proud, and you die. You don’t want to die, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

A lifetime of being alone meant that she had a lot of conversations with herself. It was good, useful even; kept her grounded in a weird way. The only trick was remembering not to do it in public, because that tended to draw curiosity and unwanted attention. When your bread and butter is breaking the law, you learn quickly to fly under the radar. Death and imprisonment were both things she intended to avoid, and either one was just as likely to catch up to her at the slightest misstep.

Beyond the entrance, she entered a massive chamber, framed on either side by staircases leading deeper into the ruin. Odd that there were no side passages given the size, but hey, that’s the Elvhen for you. Weird bunch of people with very strange buildings.

She pulled out a coin and flipped it, heads; that meant she’d take the path to the left. Two more torches along the wall, and she was able to see the curling bands of gold and silver coiled together along the banister. So much splendor and opulence forgotten and left to decay, now buried underneath generations of dust.

There was probably some philosophical lesson in that, but seeing as there was no money in puzzling it out, she simply moved on. Some would’ve considered these halls to be hallowed; holy even. The kinds of people that gathered to protest the desecration of their ancestral grounds or some nonsense like that. As far as she was concerned, those folks spent far too much time focusing on the shape of their ears.

Once, she was taught to revere the Elvhen, but you forget sentimentality real quick when you’re in danger of starving to death. What peacocking nobles did with the bits and bobs she ransacked was none of her business. Her only concern was getting paid, and she was, handsomely.

At the bottom of the stairs, she stepped in something _sticky_. Instantly she recoiled, trying to pull up her foot, but some kind of muck had glommed onto the bottom of her boot. With the nearest torch too far out of reach, she drew a ball of flame in her hand to get a better look. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good. She burned away the slimy ooze and proceeded carefully,conjuring the veilfire and flooding the chamber with light.

“Shit,” she cursed, gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut, “Shit. Shit. Shit.”

There was no mistaking the webbing. In her head, hope said that it had been there for years, intact only for having not been disturbed, but she knew that probably wasn’t the case. If you’re smart, you don’t mess around with webs, especially after coming face to face with what makes them. Spiders, gods forsaken things, for those that believe in gods. She didn’t, but in this case she could almost make an exception.

“Breathe. Keep your eyes and your ears open. You knew this was a risk, and you came prepared. Just breathe, and try to stay calm.”

She relaxed her body as much as possible, but trying to breathe out the tension was never very successful. At times like this, she almost wished for animated corpses or ancient magical traps. Still, it was a risk of the job and she signed up for it anyway. Hell, a part of her even enjoyed it usually, but that wouldn’t be the case today.

Reluctantly, she made her way deeper into ruin, which she noted was surprisingly _barren_. It didn’t seem as though someone had gotten here first, either, but that is was designed this way intentionally. Opulence was woven into every facet of Elvhen architecture, evidenced here in the form of fancy railings and murals of jeweled tiles on the walls, but all the other structures she’d entered were far more decadent than this one.

The stomach that earlier seemed so keen and certain had formed a pit, but she couldn’t turn back now. The first staircase lead to a hall, which brought her to another set of steps, winding yet further underground. Whatever this place once was, it was built with purpose, and it seemed important. She hoped that meant valuable scavenge could be found in its depths, and with a sealed up hole like this, there was no doubt in her mind that she’d at least earn enough to make it worth her while.

The sixth staircase lead to a hall that appeared to be a dead end. Opposite the steps, at the far side of a long and narrow corridor, stood a once proud and glimmering mosaic, now forgotten by time and dulled with age. There had to be something more than _this_ , anything. It didn’t make sense, but nothing about this place seemed to.

She ignited a glow rod, holding it between her teeth while she wiped away layers of dust, trying to see what was underneath. The tiles were worn and tarnished, but the unmistakable form of a wolf now stared back at her – not a creature often depicted in these murals. There was something in its mouth, but she couldn’t make it out clearly until a whisper of magic crawled across her skin.

As she lit the veilfire its eyes began to glow, but her focus was drawn quickly away by a skittering in this distance. The still and silence of the ruin was broken, and the noise was getting progressively louder. She _knew_ that sound. A chill like ice ran down her spine as she felt her skin turn to gooseflesh, heart thundering in her chest.

“Breathe,” she commanded herself in a whisper, as she threw down traps and put up a barrier. “Dammit Ell, _breathe._ ”

With her back to the wall, she got ready for the attack. Only an idiot would come here unarmed, but firing off rounds in a place like this was dangerous. One missed shot or an unlucky ricochet could cause a collapse, not to mention the obvious of alerting every last living or undead thing around to her presence.

These were not the kind of odds she’d chose to play, but it looked like she didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t ideal to say the least, but she should be able to handle about five spiders without too much trouble. Any more than that though, and things wouldn’t be pretty. There was no good place to bite it, but this had to be close to the bottom of the list.

She might’ve thought that death by spider was poetic if she was of a mind for such things, but she wasn’t. Like philosophy, she was actively disinterested in poetry and failed to see any use for it. What she cared about was staying alive, and anything that didn’t aid in that cause was of no concern. All that mattered was getting out of this, getting some decent loot in the process, and getting paid.

The sound was getting closer, deafening and at the same time, she could barely hear it over the sound of her heartbeat. _Thump, thump, thump_ , racing, beating against her ribcage like an angry animal trying to escape. _Scritch, scritch, scritch_ , she could hear it all around her until she was choking on her breath.

The walls were closing in as she waited, throat constricting and sweat dripping down her face. Almost, so close, NOW! Forked lightning bolts shot from her fingertips and dislodged a spider from the ceiling. Its shriek pierced into the very fibers of her being and it was so hard to not closer her eyes but she had to keep them open. She had to keep going.

“Focus!” she hissed, shaking herself and hurtling a bottle of poison down the corridor.

At some point the glow rod had broken, and despite the light of the veilfire, everything seemed so dark. Was it her imagination? Why was her vision blurry? No, no, she needed to snap out of it. This was do or die, and she absolutely had no intention of doing the latter.

Two of three traps had gone off and her barrier had yet to be breached. Three lyrium draughts left minus the one she was gulping down, and breathing wasn’t getting any easier. She was trying to convince herself that she could do this; that everything would be fine, but no part of her believed it. No, not when there were fucking _spiders_.

She hurtled a wall of fire down the hall, trying to block out the shrieks as the horrific creatures burned, and the skittering kept coming. Panic was taking a firmer hold now, and her hands were shaking violently as she tried to concentrate on getting out of this alive.

She stepped backwards toward the mosaic, desperately needing some kind of security, and her foot caught on a loose brick in the floor. Grabbing desperately at the wall in an effort to right herself, her hand pushed in further than it should have. Alarmed, but more worried about the monsters trying to kill her, she tried to ignore the sound of shifting stone. No, she couldn’t deal with a collapse right now of all times, and she wasn’t even close to being ready to die.

Something clicked at her back, drawing her focus to the sound of heavy scraping, and she realized the wall was moving. Today would not be the day her luck ran out after all, she thought, willing herself to believe it. Ducking into the opening, she cast an immolate spell, igniting every spider within reach. When the passageway closed again, she said thanks to anyone and everyone that might be listening. After laying a fire mine and her last trap at the threshold, she collapsed to the floor.

When she came to, everything was quiet again, but in the ruins, quiet could never be comfortable. The room had to be somewhat safe since she was still alive, but she figured it was good to have a look around anyway. More veilfire torches on either side of the entrance, which caused a chain reaction and illuminated the whole area.

It was filled with books, more than she had ever seen or thought might exist. They had to be worth a fortune, especially if some of them weren’t destroyed. Of course, she’d have to find a way out of here before worrying about that, but at least the trip wouldn’t be fruitless. With this haul, she could take it easy for at least a few weeks, and after this she needed to.

Still, she couldn’t let herself get comfortable. Living off your savings was fine and good until there was nothing left. She knew all too well what happened to people that got lazy, and she wouldn’t become one of them. A little rest and recovery, and she’d be back to work.

With a mixture of relief and resignation, she laid out her bedroll and toed off her boots. After swallowing a few mouthfuls of an energy bar, she lied down for some much needed sleep. With any luck, she wouldn’t see spiders in her dreams.


	2. A Girl's Gotta Eat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ell finds something she never expected to see in an ancient ruin, a tall, bald elf in some kind coma.

The library was only the first room in a large set of apartments. It was mildly interesting, but more than anything, she wanted to find a way to get the hell out of there, preferably without going back the way she came. That’s why, when she came across a large mirror at the end of a hallway, she breathed a deep sigh relief.

It had lain dormant for centuries, at least, if not millennia, but it was unbroken. Concentrating her magic, she moved her hands in a slow circle, calling for the power contained within it to awaken.

“Vera anor,” she instructed, and instantly the eluvian began to hum and shimmer, glowing faintly.

She bowed her head, a small smile on her lips. Navigating the crossroads could sometimes an issue, but at least she’d be able to leave this place, and without… _spiders._ With only a moment’s hesitation, she held her breath and walked through. With any luck, she wouldn’t run into any looters.

She left a subtle trail along her path, like breadcrumbs, until she finally found a place she recognized. Someone who knew what to look for could feel the magic and track it, but that wasn’t likely. There weren’t a lot of independent mages, and most of the ones she’d come across lacked the sort of training required for figuring out such a spell.

The trip home was without incident, which was a little surprising, but a huge relief. Her little excursion in the ruin had taken a lot out of her, and any less shit she had to deal with was a load off her mind. She did see a few more Templars in the streets than she’d have liked, but she’d spent her life learning how to blend in. Through the side entrance, she entered the shop unseen, eager to unload her cargo.

“Ah, Ellana, if it isn’t my favorite patroness.”

“A joy to see you too, _Viv_.”

“Ahem,” she sighed minutely and tilted her head to the side, “now, what can I help you with, darling?”

“Books. A few of them, and in the best condition I’ve ever seen.”

Her eyebrows raised and Ell could practically see the gears working in her head.

“Well that _is_ certainly interesting. Give me a moment to lock up, my dear, and I’ll meet you in the back office.”

The gesture would’ve seemed dismissive if she didn’t know better, but that was just Viv’s way. She pulled the books out of her pack and set them on the large, ornately carved desk in the center of the room. While waiting, she leaned back in the diamond-tucked chair enjoying the feel of a luxury she would never pay for herself.

“Let us see what you’ve brought me, then,” she said, sauntering into the room as only _Madame de Fer_ could.

She looked at the books a moment before picking one up, carefully flipping it over and inspecting the volume closely.

“My dear, do you have any idea what this is?”

“I’ll save you my sarcasm and assume you mean other than a book.”

Vivienne made an almost indiscernible scoffing sound, rolling her eyes beneath closed lids. She didn’t bother to hide the smirk on her face, it was so easy to irritate her, and it was one of her precious few indulgences.

“Fade and Spirits Mysterious,” she read aloud. “This manuscript was written by Brother Gentivi himself. There are less than a handful of copies known to exist. Do you know how many people will be desperate to have it?”

“Listen, I’m sure it’s fascinating, but you know my only interest is in the bottom line.”

The Enchanter let out a weary size and shook her head before taking a seat in her oversized, wingback chair.

“I do sometimes wonder how you can take so little interest, darling. This is a piece of history, a thing some might literally be willing to kill for. The way you act, it might as well be a paperweight.”

“You care, I get that, just don’t expect me to. What some old guy I’ve never heard of wrote hundreds of years before I was born will never have any bearing on my life.”

Vivienne let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her temples, knowing the futility of continuing that line of conversation.

“Very well. I’ll put out a few feelers and see if I can’t earn enough interest to set up a little bidding war. You would like me to hold onto them, I presume?”

“Yeah, and let your buyers know there’s plenty more where they came from. I stumbled across a collection that would make your head spin, Viv.”

The clicking sound that came from the human woman’s throat caused Ell’s lips to turn upwards in amusement. She collected herself minutely before responding.

“My dear, you mean to tell me that you discovered an entire collection or works like these?”

“Yep. Found a ruin no one had been in before, and there they were, just waiting for me.”

“Of course you will wish to retrieve them unaided, and so there is little left for me to do other than simply wait. Do be careful, darling, it would be a pity indeed if anything were to happen to the remaining books.”

Ell shook her head gently, smiling, “Your concern is noted, but unneeded. I’m gonna take a few days to recharge, and I’ll see if I can’t bring you a delivery next week.”

“I will be here.”

 

\-----

 

It had felt so nice to sleep in a bed and feel as comfortable and safe as she was capable of, but she’d been cooped up for far too long. Her fingers tingled with magic, so eager was she to get back to work. It didn’t mean she wouldn’t be cautious, though, because letting your guard down was a surefire way to get dead, or robbed… or arrested.

In any event, she maintained her focus and never let the excitement distract her. With finely honed skills she made her way back to the eluvian, being extra vigilant for signs that someone else was present. A find like this, as Viv had said, was something some people might kill for. She had no intention of giving anyone the chance.

Once she was inside, she decided to hold off on gathering up the books right away. When last she was here, she didn’t search the place very thoroughly, and there was likely to be something she missed. With any luck, she might even find something else worth taking.

This ruin had been unlike any she’d ventured into before, yes, but what she ended up finding could not possibly have come as more of a surprise. Of all the bizarre and mysterious things she’d come across while scavenging, this definitely took the cake. In the center of the chamber, lay a tall, bald _elf_.

Whether he was dead or sleeping, she couldn’t say, but the sight of him was startling. What was he doing here? _Why_ was he here? She shook her head, knowing that it didn’t really matter. At the end of the day, neither the questions nor the answers were important. Once she was certain that he wouldn’t make any trouble for her, there need not be any more to it.

She approached him cautiously, footsteps slow and quiet, until he was close enough to touch. He wasn’t dead, but it wasn’t like any sleep she’d ever seen. Some kind of coma, maybe? Either way, not her concern. He wouldn’t be bothering her any time soon, at least.

The room was mostly empty otherwise, the only other item of an interest was a sconce on the wall, the likes of which she’d never seen before. Of course, she would take that as well. The books might furnish her with a nicely sized nest egg, but it would still need plenty of padding. It wasn’t greed that drove her though, it was survival.

She felt a glimmer of magic when she reached out to touch it, but that wasn’t so odd for something of the elvhen. If they’d had toilet paper, she was fairly certain that would’ve been enchanted too. It probably wouldn’t have sent a powerful shock through her when she touched it, though.

She stood a moment, feeling dazed and trying to reorient herself by stretching out of limbs. When she heard a sudden murmur from behind her, her eyes snapped open. Spinning around, she took in the sight of her companion, who was beginning to stir.

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

He reached an arm towards her, confused, and she started backing up. She’d fucked up good this time. Now, the best she could probably do was grab all the books she could carry and hightail it back to the city. _Nice going, Ell_ , she thought, _wake up coma guy and blow the biggest score you’ve ever had_.

“Ahnas garal?” he murmured sleepily.

When she didn’t answer, he tried to get up and failed. He ended up on the floor and she knew she should just get away now while she still could, but some stupid part of her felt bad. Being callous was something she needed to work on.

“Whoa, whoa, calm down. Can you understand me?”

What the hell was she doing?

“I, yes,” he answered, slowly, “Who… are you?”

“Listen, that’s not important. Sorry I woke you up, but it was an accident, so you should probably just go back to sleep.”

“I do not understand,” he began, his expression clearly confused.

“There’s nothing to understand. I bumped into the thing on the wall, and somehow interfered with the magical containment field protecting you.”

“You are mage.”

“Uh, yeah. So, you gonna go back to sleep then?”

“Hmmm, no,” he decided, shaking his head, “I think perhaps it is time I returned to the world.”

“Right. Well, I’m just gonna head out then,” she told him, tilting her head toward the door. “Good luck.”

“I wonder if you would perhaps bring me some water, I find myself rather thirsty and in need of assistance.”

_Shit. Double shit. Just leave, Ell, this is a bad idea._

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I guess I could do that.”

“Thank you, lethallin.”

She recognized the word, said by him with some unknown significance, but if he thought them having the same shaped ears meant they had something in common, then he had another thing coming.

“Whatever.”

He seemed to have regained more of his faculties when she came back with the bottle, and he accepted it from her questioningly. It took him a minute before unscrewing the cap, but once he put his lips to it, he downed the whole thing in no time flat.

“You might want to slow down a bit, or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“Yes, thank you. It has been some time. Tell me, how did you get here?”

“Through the ruin, at first, why?”

“At first? So you are an explorer?”

“…Of sorts.”

“I see,” he demurred, steepling his fingers together and giving her a significant sidelong look.

“Right, well if that’s all you needed –“

“You are very quick to leave.”

“Things to do.”

“I will not begrudge you your stealing of trinkets, da’len, you need not worry.”

“It’s not stealing if the owners are dead.”

She didn’t need his permission.

“True enough, perhaps, though I believe myself to be alive.”

“And what, these ancient books are yours? They haven’t been touched in hundreds of years.”

He met the incredulous look she leveled at him with a placid one of his own.

“So the books are of interest you, then. Tell me, if you would, what do you intend to use them for?”

“Me? I intend to sell them.”

She suspected he wouldn’t like the answer, but duplicity wasn’t her style. Besides, it wasn’t up to him, anyway.

“I see,” he declared stiffly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“So we understand each other, then?”

“Understand?” he asked, irritation creeping into his tone. “Yes, I believe I do. You are a _shadow_ , robbing the graves of the people who came before you and forsaking their knowledge in favor of monetary gain.”

She shrugged, and his eyes narrowed.

“I don’t give a rat’s _ass_ about the knowledge of ‘the people who came before me’. Ancient books won’t put a roof over your head or clothes on your back. The legacy of the long dead’s all good and well, but a girl’s gotta eat. I’ll take food in my belly over preserving some pointy-eared heritage I don’t give a shit about.”

He said nothing to that, probably tossing the idea about in his head. She looked around, wondering why she was even still here. What, was she waiting for his reproof? His opinion meant less than nothing, and the censure of a stranger wasn’t likely to have any affect.  He was pretty though, she noticed, his eyes intense, and his face all sharp angles. It hardly mattered, though, once she left, she had no intention of coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to keep up with me on tumblr, you can do so [here](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/).
> 
> \--Translations--  
> Vera anor - take me home (roughly)  
> Ahnas garal - what’s going on?


	3. Introductions

His memory was… _fuzzy_. He maintained a vague recollection of events, but what had precipitated his journey into uthenera, he could not remember clearly. This place had been a last refuge or sorts, hidden away and known only to him. That he came here spoke of desperation, and of giving up. Things had not gone as planned, this much he knew, but what it was that went wrong, he couldn’t say.

He had seen this world in his dreams, a place worse in many ways than the one he last woke up to. The veil was still in place; The People still mortal and cut off from their magic. Clearly, he had failed, and without his orb he was all but powerless. He knew not how to remedy the situation, but his pursuit could not be abandoned, even if he was forced start again with nothing.

This girl, woman, that had awoken him, had no idea who he was. This was something he could use to his advantage, though she was hesitant to speak with him at all. Apparently, she made her way in the world by spiriting away irreplaceable artifacts and selling them for coin. Having some idea of the state of Thedas, he could not say he blamed her. After all, were her choices not the only ones available to her, and was it not his own mistakes that forced her into such a position?

Still, it was painful to see how little pride she took in herself. She was cautious and untrusting, which was smart, but she had eschewed knowledge that could be very useful to a mage. Had she no desire to expand her own awareness? In a world where so few were gifted with magic, it was sad indeed to see someone who possessed it had no wish to connect with the Fade on a deeper level.

She was obviously intelligent, however, and had already proven her resourcefulness. It was clear he could not navigate this world solely on his own, and if he could persuade her to help him get his bearings, there was little danger of her interfering in his plans. Were he to tell her, he suspected she may not even be interested.

“Yes, I see,” he told her. “The pursuit of knowledge is not something that drives everyone, and if it is material gain you seek, I wonder if we might come to an arrangement.”

She looked at him with a skeptical eye, her posture defensive; almost aggressive. That was fine, she need not trust him in order to be useful.

“Really,” she huffed, incredulous, “and what sort of _arrangement_ did you have in mind?”

“I have been away from the world for some time,” he explained delicately, “and I am in need of someone to help acclimate me to the ways of it.”

“Right, and why would I want to do that?”

“Because I would reward you handsomely for your efforts.”

“Mmhmm, sure. And what could you possibly have that I would want?”

“Aside from the library which you have already pilfered, I have in my possession the locations of other places such as this one. The items to be found within would no doubt be considered valuable enough to merit your interest.”

“Okay, I’ll bite, and how exactly did you come across this information?”

He thought about how best to answer that question. She was likely both too clever and too distrusting to believe an outright lie, and partial truths were always easier to keep track of…

“I saw it as I slept. One can learn many things wandering through the Fade.”

She choked out a short laugh.

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that? You _saw it as you slept_?” she shook her head in disbelief. “If you want me to help you, you’re gonna have to do better than that, and don’t bullshit me, either.”

“Spirits can be wonderful guides, to those who are willing to listen.”

“I’m sure they can, but that lame ass explanation’s _not_ gonna cut it. Did you forget that _I’m_ a mage? I’ve walked the Fade. I’ve met spirits. That’s not something they would show just anyone.”

“And here I thought you had no interest in such knowledge.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t care less about your story. I’m just not stupid enough to take a stranger making ridiculous claims at their word.”

“Very well,” he sighed, mask fixed tightly to his face. “My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. This place, this _ruin_ , as you call it, is a refuge of sorts. A place to stay safe during the long years of uthenera. I have been here, sleeping for some time.”

“Riiiiight.” She rolled her eyes sharply and got up to leave. “I don’t know if you’ve been mixing medications, _grandpa_ , but I don’t need this mess. I’m just gonna go. Good with luck with,” she waved her hand across the room, “all of _this_.”

Things were not going at all as he thought they would. He hoped that all the people in this new world were not so difficult to manipulate, because that would make things decidedly more difficult for him.

“Is it truly so unbelievable? Did you not yourself admit to disrupting the magical field which held me in suspension?”

“Sure, but I don’t see how that makes you hundreds of years old. No one could live that long, even asleep, unless they were a demon.”

“Not hundreds, da’len, _thousands_. I know the location of temples and strongholds built during the time of Arlathan because I was _there_. And I am no demon, I am elvhen,” he told her, emphasizing the h sound in the second syllable.

“Oh, great, now you’re one of my ancestors! This just keeps getting better,” she scoffed.

“Having never sired any children, it is doubtful.”

“Real cute. And I suppose you have proof to back up your ridiculous claims?”

“I do.”

“Alright, where is it?”

“I’m afraid there is nothing here that could inspire you to believe me, but we could travel togeth-“

“You can just stop right there,” she told him, silencing him with a raised hand. “I’m not going _anywhere_ with you. Tell me where this so-called _proof_ is; if I go there and it checks out, then maybe I decide to help.”

“And what guarantee do I have that you will return?”

“None, but if you want me to trust you, then I guess you’ll just have to trust me back. I may be a _thief_ , at least by your estimation, but I’m not a liar, and I don’t screw people over.”

“A bold claim, given the circumstances. And I am to believe _your_ words without having been furnished with any evidence of the truthfulness?”

She breathed out a restrained laugh through her nose, a small smile fighting its way onto her face.

“How about this, _pops_ , these books here, they’re worth a _fortune_. If I don’t come back, then I miss out on a lot of money, and I _hate_ losing money.”

“Though I remain unconvinced of your intentions, I suppose it will have to suffice, for now.”

“Good.”

Her lips quirked up mirthlessly as she raised her eyebrows. Clearly she had little faith that what he’d told her was true; his only hope now was that greed would drive her to follow through on her end of the bargain. With coordinates drawn up and her on her way, all that remained for him to do was wait for her to come back, if indeed she intended to.

 

\-----

 

Sure enough, there was an old ruin exactly where he said it’d be. This one was dilapidated, though, and she wondered if the ‘proof’ he mentioned would even still be there, if it existed at all. Part of her thought she was crazy to even be doing this. She should’ve just taken all she could carry and left, that would’ve been the smart play. What was she thinking? Clearly, she wasn’t, because this was pointless.

There wasn’t much left of the place honestly, and it had obviously been pretty thoroughly picked over already. Still, as long as a few of the walls were intact, she supposed it would prove that he was or wasn’t full of shit. Of course, the chance that he’d been telling the truth was so small that she couldn’t believe she was here at all. Stupid to waste her time like this, so why was she?

“Get a grip, Ell, you meet a weirdo in an ancient ruin who tells you he’s thousands of years old, and you run. You don’t agree to help him if he can prove it.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Dammit.”

She saw it for herself, just like he said she would. There he was, painted clear as day on the wall, in the shadow of a towering wolf. That pretty much erased whatever doubt she had left, even if it was a hard pill to swallow.

A historian she might not be, but she could tell if something was authentic, and this hadn’t been faked. The only way his face got painted on that wall was if he’d been around when it was still standing, unless of course he was a clone. Well, _shit_ , it looked like she was gonna have to help him afterall.

She stopped over in the city before heading back, both to get some supplies and to calm herself. It wasn’t every day you met a piece of living history. Vivvy would’ve probably pissed herself at the prospect, if she wasn’t so hung up on being dignified. She wondered idly how much someone might pay to… no, she shook her head. He was still a person, and that wouldn’t be right, even if a living relic probably could’ve set her up for life. There were lines you didn’t cross, no matter what the payout.

“Ah, so you have returned.”

Smug bastard, he was.

“Here, put these on,” she instructed, pulling the wad of clothes from her pack and throwing them at him.

“What is this?” he asked, confused.

“You’ll draw too much attention dressed the way you are, and I don’t think either of us wants to be noticed.”

He raised an eyebrow and motioned down his form, expectantly.

“I have witnessed enough in the Fade to know I should not stand out in what I’m wearing.”

The unassuming beige tunic and green pants might have been plain, but that wasn’t problem.

“Listen, you look like a liberal arts professor, gramps, and we’re not going to for a _coffee in the quad_.”

“I’m afraid you will have to explain to me what that means.”

“It means I’ll be waiting for you upstairs, hurry up.”

If he wanted her help, that answer would have to suffice. She loaded as many books as she could into the packs while waiting for him to get changed. One useful part of this arrangement was having someone else to help her carry them. It would still take a few trips yet, but now it would go a lot faster. She might not trust him, but he already knew where the place was, and she didn’t think he was likely to run off. From behind her, he cleared his throat and she turned around to look him over.

“Wow,” she said without thinking, the word leaving her mouth before she had a chance stop it.

_I am definitely **not** attracted to you, and I will absolutely smack the smug look off your face if you don’t stop it_, she managed to keep in her head. She didn’t even like him, not that she needed to, and the clothes barely fit anyway. Still, he looked… incredibly _hot_ , she had to admit. _Keep it in your pants, Ell_ , _you can get laid any time._

“Shall we go then?” he asked, swinging gently back and forth and looking amused.

“Yeah. Here, take this.”

He didn’t look so pleased with himself when she shoved the heavy bag into his chest, which was good. It hadn’t been enough to hurt, but that wasn’t the intention anyway. She was glad he seemed to get the point, because he didn’t say anything else.

 

\-----

 

There was no need for such ill-manners, but he supposed he would have to accept them, at least until another option presented itself. For now, she was his sole link to this modern world, and he would try to take her rudeness in stride. Hopefully though, he would not require her services for long.

He was somewhat surprised she’d been able to activate the eluvian, though he supposed such skills might be commonplace for mages in this time. What he had seen in the Fade was enough to give him vague impressions, but his experience was sorely lacking. Though he felt fairly certain she’d been speaking common, there had been several words he did not understand. The language had obviously evolved over the ages, and he would need to expand on his grasp of it.

“Be quiet and follow my lead,” she instructed, pulling him through the mirror.

It was a shock to see how much the crossroads had changed, though they were remarkably preserved, all things considered. She seemed to know her way quite well, but he quickly realized she was following some kind of trail. It was a clever trick, just the faintest impression of magic, and easy enough to be overlooked by someone passing by.

“If you like,” he offered, “I could show you how to better hide the lingering traces of magic.”

“No point. This works plenty well the way it is. Come on.”

She beckoned him on with a sharp motion of her wrist, completely disregarding his offer of assistance. Did she truly have so little interest in her own spells? Was she so irresponsible with her magic that she did not care about efficiency? If she treated everything with such unaffected disregard, she was unlikely to be a suitable guide.

“Alright,” she stopped, turning to him, “we’re almost back to the city. I don’t know what you’re expecting, but keep your eyes down. You don’t have an ID, I assume, and if we’re caught with what’s in these bags… well, just don’t do anything to draw attention. Got it?”

“I understand.”

She sighed, shaking her head. He imagined she thought very little of his capabilities, but he knew well how to be inconspicuous when needed. When finally they passed through the last eluvian, the first thing he noticed was the _smell_ – it was vile.

“Where _are_ we?” he asked, and she shushed him.

“Keep quiet,” she hissed, “remember what I said.”

He followed her down a dark hallway and up a set of stairs. The door at the top was locked, but opened with a spell he’d never seen before. _Fascinating_. As she turned the handle, he could hear some kind of music in the distance, unlike anything he had ever heard. Once through, she closed the door and cast another, similar spell. A magical lock, he assumed.

As they proceeded, the sound grew louder, until it was near deafening. He grimaced against the assault, some sort of deep booming that vibrated the walls and floor, thumping at evenly spaced intervals. Further away, he could hear what sounded like people, though he couldn’t see anyone. The door up ahead was pushed open before they reached it, an elven man walking towards them.

“Ellana,” he purred at her, “fancy seeing _you_ here.”

Solas resisted rolling his eyes, the child was obvious to the point of being ridiculous.

“What do you want, Han?”

From her posture and tone he could tell they were familiar to each other, and that was displeased to see him.

“That’s no way to greet an old friend.”

“I’ll keep that in mind if I run into any.”

“Why do you say these things to hurt me, Ell, we both know you don’t mean it.”

He brought a hand up to her face, but she slapped it away, pushing him back.

“Find me alone, Mahanon, in a dark alley with no cameras. I’ll show you just how much I _don’t_ mean it.”

“Ooph. That’s cold, Ell, even for you,” his voice sarcastic and irritatingly smooth. “You’re new boy there not giving it to you good enough?”

With that, he titled his chin in Solas’ direction, making it almost impossible for him not to scoff.

“Better than you could,” she told the younger elf, pushing past him and gesturing for Solas to follow.

Hopefully what he’d just witnessed wouldn’t be of concern to him, because he doubted she would be forthcoming if he were to ask her about it. Still, if she had enemies, he would need to be made aware of them. He decided to broach the subject once they reached their destination, regardless of whether she appreciated his doing so.

They snaked through the crowd of people in the room beyond, gyrating wildly and rubbing themselves against each other. He fought the urge to cover his ears. When finally they walked through the doors to the outside, his relief was palpable. The air was not so clean as he remembered, but it was certainly more refreshing that what he’d been breathing before, and for that he was thankful.

He hoped that wherever they were going was not far, but he decided it best not to ask. Cautiously, he looked around, taking in the strange qualities of the architecture and his surroundings. There was a staggering number of buildings, lit up brightly from within, most of them constructed of brick that had become dull and grimy with age.

He avoided looking at the people they passed, but it was not an easy thing. There was so many of them, more than a few dressed in rags, and some were sat on the ground holding signs declaring their destitution. He said nothing, though he wished to, mortified at the depths to which this world had fallen.

Silently he wondered if the rest of the city was like this, and if indeed all cities were. Things had become so much worse than he could’ve imagined, and he was to blame for it all. This world was wrong, and he was determined to do everything in his power to fix it. To undo the mistake that created this unfortunate future, there was nothing he would not sacrifice.

At length, they reached a rundown building, smaller than most they had passed. There was a large board across its frontage with the words ‘NO TRESSPASSING’ crudely painted as a warning. His magic surged within him, a slightly sick feeling forming in his stomach. This did not appear promising.

“We’re here,” she told him, casting a spell and lifting the board away.

Behind it was a solid looking door, which relieved him some. She opened it and he followed her inside.

“Where is _here_?” he asked, cautiously.

“Home. Bathroom’s through there,” she told him, pointing. “Set the bag where you like, stay out of my way, and you sleep on the couch.”

With that she left him, going into another room and shutting the door. It seemed his questions would have to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to keep up with me and my fics on tumblr, you can do so [here](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/).


	4. Thirsty

The residence was comfortable and tidy, obviously prioritizing utility over design. The furnishings were limited and simple; the décor consisting only of a well-worn rug on the living room floor. Idly he explored the rooms he had access to - living, kitchen, bath. There was a locked door off the kitchen, but he wasn’t especially curious about what lay behind it.

The bathroom and kitchen contained modern marvels, the likes of which were nothing short of astounding. The oven needed no fire, the water ran on its own from a source unseen, and bodily waste was removed via some sort of aqueduct. Most impressive was the resourcefulness of each device functioning _without_ the use of magic, and more barbaric was the human-dominated system that left so many destitute despite such things existing.

He attempted to greet her when she emerged from the bedroom wearing… well, rather little, but she walked past him and towards the bathroom, without acknowledgement. Hearing the loud stream water indicating she was likely washing herself, he decided to spend his waiting time reading. He hoped that perhaps she simply disliked mornings, and that her behavior towards him would be more tolerable than the day before.

It was a book he’d gone through a dozen times over, Dalish Myths and Collected Truths Against, and served little purpose other than rousing a mild irritation in him. He’d been reading a legend about himself, and it was almost pure fabrication at that point, bearing little in the way of similarity to actual events. With the annoyance also crept in the guilt and the self-recrimination, an unnecessary reminder of his many failings. As though he could ever forget.

At length, she finished and made her way into the kitchen, body covered by barely more than smallclothes.

“Good morning,” he offered by way of greeting, attempting to be companionable.

“I hate mornings,” she groused, busying herself with what he assumed was food preparation.

“I see. What is the device you are using?”

“Microwave.”

“How does it function?”

She stopped what she was doing to give him an annoyed look.

“It heats things, and don’t ask me how. Don’t know and don’t care.”

He could feel a headache beginning then and fought the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose. Clearly diplomacy was not an effective tactic here.

“Do you remember the details of our arrangement?”

“Yeah,” she paused to bite into some sort of spongy disc, and proceeded to talk whilst chewing on it. “You want me to reintroduce you to the world.”

“Ah, good, you have not forgotten. I wonder then if you would attempt to better answer my questions in the future.”

She swallowed the mouthful of food and clumsily wiped her mouth.

“If you want me to help you understand the mechanics of kitchen appliances, then we’re gonna have a problem, _pops_. Now, if you want to know about stuff that actually matters, we’ll be fine.”

He stood up now, vexation snaking itself into his limbs.

“That is where you are mistaken,” he informed her, stepping closer.

“Oh, and how is that?”

She took another bite of food, then, not seeming to be taking him very seriously.

“When you are given employment, your payment is contingent upon your performance. As yet, I am unimpressed.”

“If you want to find someone else, the door’s right there,” she told him dismissively, pointing to the exit.

His eyes narrowed and his fingers curled into his palms, nearly becoming fists. What was she _doing_? Was this a game for her, some kind of test? She stood there not really looking at him, continuing to eat her breakfast as though he wasn’t there at all. The growling of his own stomach did not help matters, but that she also was ignoring.

“Are you attempting to _bait_ me?”

She coughed suddenly, surprised by his question. Her sharp eyes caught his then, and she looked quickly away. It was rather curious, this, and he was unsure what to make of it. She was trying to anger him, but he knew not why.

“Now why would I do a thing like that?” she asked, feigned confusion on her face.

She took a step towards him, her arm reaching out to poke her finger into his chest. He caught the faintest trace of a smile when he pushed it aside.

“I do not know, and if you would be so kind as to oblige me, I am in need of sustenance.”

She breathed a sharp breath through her nose and tossed one of the spongy discs at him. He caught it, despite being surprised, and examined it. It was neither the best nor the worst thing he’d consumed in his life, and he was glad simply to be eating.

 

\-----

 

_Ugh, get a grip, Ell,_ she thought. Why in the hell was she so attracted to him? It was weird and unsettling. Even with that jaw and those lips, and the muscles she could tell were hiding under his shirt… it was bad, and it didn’t make sense. She turned away from him, shaking her head. If she was this frustrated already, how much worse would it be after a week? How long would she have to put up with him? Best to get this all over with and get him out of her life.

She didn’t even like him, and that was probably part of the problem. He not only dressed like a college professor, but he _acted_ like one, and that alone should’ve killed the attraction. There was this confidence to him though, this danger lurking under the surface, and she found herself wondering how much she could wind him up before he’d lose his cool.

That was kinda fucked up though, wasn’t it, being that he was about a million years old? Even if he didn’t look it… and the way he did look, well she wanted to shove him up against the wall and bury her tongue down his throat. Of course, the fact that she shouldn’t do it made her want to do it more, which was trouble. She’d need another outlet for her frustration soon, because he probably wouldn’t be into it, and things didn’t need to be even more awkward.

“I expect you to pay me back for the waffles,” she told him, trying to keep the teasing edge from her voice as she went to get her laptop from her bedroom.

“You may subtract it from the money you earn by selling my books.”

She closed her eyes and breathed a sigh, she wanted to bite him _so_ bad. He probably would’ve liked it, too… but that was a train of thought she needed to derail. They could figure out exactly where he wanted to start, and then she could leave to bring Viv a delivery. Honestly, the internet would probably do half her job for her, and then it’d be easy pickings. Still, she’d make him think she was earning her payment, so he didn’t get any ideas about short-changing her down the line.

“So,” she began, plopping on the couch, “where do you want to start?”

When he sat next to her, she mentally kicked herself for being so cheap about things like furniture. It wasn’t often that she had people over, and having more than one place to sit hadn’t been a problem until now.

“Truthfully, I am not certain,” he admitted, sighing gently.

He wasn’t looking at her, and she could work with that.

“Well that’s helpful,” she mumbled half under her breath. “Really gonna need _something_ to go on, anything at all.”

She tapped the keys as he shifted in his seat, waiting impatiently for an actual answer.

“The Inquisition,” he decided, finally, “what became of the Inquisition? I have seen whispers in the Fade, but nothing is clear.”

“You say that name like it should mean something to me.”

“Does it not?” he looked concerned, his brow furrowing.

“No, but then I’ve never cared much about history.”

“Hmmm,” he replied, his chin resting on his hand.

“So this thing I’m holding?” she lifted the laptop towards him for a minute before setting it back down, “this is called a computer. Inside is information, on basically everything, kind of like a library on steroids.”

He made a face. More language he didn’t understand, apparently.

“Okay, perfect example,” she explained opening up the browser window and typing in the search pane. “I tell the computer what I want to know about, and it tells me, more or less. Hmmm,” she bit her lip as she scrolled through the results. “Steroids, technically known as anabolic-androgenic… you know what, never mind. You get the idea.”

“Fascinating,” he replied, leaning over her to get a better look at the screen. “And how is this accomplished?”

He was definitely too close. For just a second she closed her eyes and inhaled, breathing in his earthy scent. That was not her best idea, even if she hadn’t really thought about it beforehand. He turned his head to face her, curious, and she just sort of glared at him. _Yep, that’s perfect, Ell._ She didn’t have a ton of interpersonal skills, but this was impressively bad.

“So, the computer is connected to the internet. Don’t ask what it is, okay, it just _is_. There’s this massive network of information, connecting you to… basically everywhere, and other people, too. Whatever you’re looking for, you can probably find it.”

 

\-----

 

“Incredible.”

He was stunned and awed. Perhaps he would not need her much, after all, though he suspected things were not so simple as she was suggesting.

“Yeah, but there are some things you don’t search for. If you get a warning for blocked content, stop immediately. Forget whatever you were doing and search for something stupid like videos of baby mabari. Trying to access restricted info gets you flagged, and you don’t want that, especially not on _my_ computer.”

Ah, yes, the fly in the ointment.

“I see. What is a video, and how is this tracking performed?”

You shot him a stunned look and raised her eyebrows minutely. Her fingers clicked along the buttons for a moment and then she opened the device wider and angled it towards him.

“This,” she gestured, “is a video.”

On the display, a pair of very young mabari played together; one had the other’s muzzle in its jaw. Music, unfamiliar, but much more pleasant than his first experience with it in the city, played in the background. It was not wholly dissimilar from watching a memory in the Fade, but without the deep, emotional connection tied to spirits.

“Is it the past or the present?”

“This video is a couple years old,” she explained. “There are live streams, that play video as it’s being recorded, but most are shot and then uploaded later. Oh, that reminds me...”

Without telling him what she remembered, she set down the computer and went to retrieve another, much smaller device.

“Alright,” she instructed, “go stand against that wall.”

He did as instructed, hoping rather than expecting an explanation. She squared his shoulders and tugged on his shirt, straightening the creases. Reflexively, he inched away from the movement, he had not been touched in… _ages_. She cleared her throat, the tips of her eyes slightly reddened.

“Don’t move.”

He stood still as she positioned the small, rectangular device in front of him. After it emitted an audible click, he appraised it, and seeming satisfied, lowered her arm. Raising an eyebrow at her, he intimated his curiosity without voice the question.

“Ugh,” she groaned, “look.”

She thrust it towards him and what he saw on the screen was… himself. The image was exact, like his reflection frozen in time. After a moment his eyes narrowed, what need did she have for this picture of him? Surely she did not intend to share it?

“What is it for?” He asked cautiously.

“For _you._ If you want to go anywhere in the city, which I assume you do, you need an ID. The only way to get you one is with a picture.”

“I see, thank you.”

“Part of the job,” she bristled.

At once she needled him, offering subtle advances, and then would shut down and push him away. It was a little disorienting, making it hard to know where she stood. She might very well be looking to pass him off as a specimen to be observed; studied, and yet… he did not think she would.

“And you have my thanks nonetheless.”

“Right,” she shifted the subject, becoming defensive, “I’ll be back later. Don’t go outside when I’m not here. If you get taken, there’s nothing I can do to help you.”

He wondered what lay beneath her rigid exterior, and what it was that made her recoil from gratitude or compliments. She seemed to try very hard at being callous, without truly managing it.

“I will remain here, then.”

“Right, good.”

Her words were dismissive, but he began to realize it was reflexive for her. She went to the locked door off the kitchen and opened it, pulling out a package and tossing it at him. The closet was full to bursting with the dried foodstuffs. He remembered then what she’d said about needing to eat, and wondered if she had not always been so fortunate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so Ell is super thirsty for Solas, apparently, even though she barely knows him. she definitely needs to work it out of her system soon.
> 
> if you want to keep up with me and my fics, you can follow me [here](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/) on tumblr :)


	5. Papers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ell gets Solas some identification.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for some UST.

She’d left in a bit of a hurry, but she needed to get out of there. Besides, Viv would be waiting for her to deliver the books, and holding onto them wasn’t safe anyway. It _may_ have been an excuse, but at least it was a good one. Besides, it’s not like she cared, so what was she even worried about? He’d been sleeping for long enough that another day wouldn’t kill him.

There was a customer waiting when she walked into the shop, so she did her best to shrink down like a good little elf. If you made yourself small, rich humans didn’t even notice you were there. It worked for her. She had no interest in their attention.

“Ah, I see you’ve brought my order.” Vivvy greeted her as though she was a courier. “Put the bags in the back office, won’t you?”

With a small gesture she was dismissed, but it wasn’t offensive. The humans that frequented the place liked to see elves being obsequious, and if making herself small allowed her to go unnoticed, then she’d do it. What was it Madame de Fer had taught her? ‘Let’s keep up appearances, darling, and remember, a leash can be pulled at either end.’ She’d made good use of those words.

She plopped down into a chair, making herself comfortable while she waited. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too long, because she was in an impatient mood. There were no important messages on her phone to respond to; so she found herself flicking to the pictures folder. Idly she dragged her index finger over the image of Solas’ face, her gaze caught on those inscrutable eyes.

“Did you need something, my dear?” Viv asked, entering the room and startling her back to the here and now.

“Yeah... you’ve still got somebody who can get clean papers, right?”

Vivienne raised one eyebrow, her expression dubious.

“Do I even want to know what for?”

“Would you believe me if I said a friend?”

She chuckled at Ell’s smile, shaking her head.

“Oh, darling, no.”

“Didn’t think so.” She breathed out a small sigh, “it’s complicated, let’s put it that way. Probably better for you if you don’t know.”

“You’re not doing anything stupid, are you, dear?” The teasing expression had fallen to concern, even if she’d never admit to feeling it.

“Honestly, I’m not sure yet,” she confessed, shrugging. “Guess I’ll find out.”

“It’s your life, of course, and no business of mine.”

“Of course,” she could feel her lips quirking upwards.

Showing affection was like pulling teeth for Viv, but that was just fine with her. If her friend had been the sappy sort, they wouldn’t have gotten along half so well. That they were both distant and guarded worked for them, and even if it didn’t look like it on the outside, they had the utmost respect for one another.

“Her services cost, but Dagna is the best,” she told her, passing Ell a slip of paper with a neatly printed address on it.

“Always a pleasure,” she teased, standing up and giving a small bow.

“Naturally,” she demurred, offering a small nod as a form of farewell.

She left Viv’s with her thoughts conflicted. Mostly, she opted to focus on being irritated about forking out the cash for Solas’ ID, because she was sure the price would make her skin crawl. He had to have one, and it’s not like he could exactly pay for it himself, but she hadn’t sold his books yet. That meant it was coming out of her pocket, and spending that kind of money was always going to make her upset.

She wrestled with the mixture of feelings floating around in her stomach during the bus ride to the forger. Why did she keep pulling up that picture of the bald jerk on her phone? She shook her head, chiding herself for being ridiculous. He was pompous and idealistic and cared about things that didn’t matter. More than likely he thought just as badly about her, and probably wasn’t sharing her wildly inappropriate thoughts.

The building was pretty much exactly as she figured – modern concrete, and as generic as possible. A bit upscale, though, and in the arty sort of neighborhood she hated going to. People here had stupid priorities, and romanticized struggle without ever experiencing it. Very, very few elves, she noticed, too, but that was hardly her concern. She’d pulled a knit cap over her head to hide her ears, better to go unnoticed completely in these parts.

A voice a little too cheerful buzzed her in, and she climbed the two flights of steps to the third floor, apartment 3G. They hadn’t even discussed price yet, and a sick feeling had already formed a pit in her stomach. _It had better be worth it_ , she thought, agitated, and not thinking of his face on her phone, burning a hole through her pocket.

“Hi, you must be Madame de Fer’s friend!” a smiling, dwarf woman greeted her, a little too eager.

“Uh, I guess you could say that.”

“Great! Well, I’m Dagna. Come on in and make yourself at home,” she beamed.

She looked back and forth, confused and a bit uncomfortable. This was _not_ the reception she’d been expecting. Dagna lead her through the apartment, until they got to very cluttered desk. From the looks of it, Ell assumed she not only worked, but lived here as well.

“Go ahead and sit down, this shouldn’t take too long. You needed just one set of papers, right?”

“Yeah,” she said, hesitating just a second before lowering herself into a chair. “Got the picture on my phone.”

“Oh, perfect!” the dwarf chirped, taking it from her. “Do you want to pick the name?”

“Uhmm.” She thought a moment before scribbling something down on a piece of paper. “Does this work?

“Yes, that’s perfect. Does it have any significance?”

“Not really,” she lied, biting her lip to suppress a smile.

“Oh, well I’m sure it’s fine either way!”

It was almost unnerving. _No one should be that happy_ , she thought, it just wasn’t _natural_. Were they not living in the same world? Things could be a lot worse, sure, and Ell had it pretty good, but seriously…

She picked at her cuticles a bit while casually looking around the apartment. It seemed like the forger was quite the collector of artifacts, but her interest seemed more earnest than most. Rather than an attempt to gain prestige, the pieces she displayed were peculiarities, functional items of unknown use, and not garish ‘conversation starters’.

“You’re a scavenger, right? It must be so fascinating exploring the ruins!”

Her body flinched slightly at the waiting smile and hopeful eyes. Story time wasn’t really her thing, and it was definitely not why she was here. They weren’t going to be friends, so what was the point of this conversation? She hated small talk.

“It pays the bills, and that’s about the extent of my interest.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, smile dropping minutely, but then she seemed to perk back up, even more resolved. Ell was prepared to pay the cost of the papers, but she wasn’t equipped to deal with this.

“Oh, there has to be _something_!”

Well, yeah, she did recently find an ancient elf, _alive_ , but that wasn’t a conversation they were gonna have. It didn’t seem like she’d back off, either, and it wasn’t smart to be rude to people who could seriously mess with your life if they wanted to.

“Sometimes they have hidden switches that open secret areas. That’s something, I guess.”

“Really?! I’d love to study one, if I got the chance. Forging documents is sort of a family trade,” she sighed, “but my real interest is in _magic_.”

The last word she whispered, apparently some kind of secret. _Why the hell are you telling **me**_ , she wondered, _you don’t even know me._

“You should probably keep that to yourself. The wrong person gets wind of information l like that, and it would mean a lot of trouble for you.”

“But you’re a mage, right? I don’t think I have to worry about you. I mean, you _could_ be a government agent, but the Chantry has their own people.”

_What?! Not good._

“Why do you think I’m a mage?”

She could feel her body stiffening, the tingle of magic tracing across her skin as her jaw clenched shut.

“Oh, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. I honestly just find it so interesting, and I’d love to pick your brain if you’d let me.”

Ell’s heart dropped like a rock into her stomach. Was she being blackmailed right now? Pick her brain, what did that even mean? Her fingers curled into a fist, tightening and releasing, a failed attempt to calm her fraying nerves.

“Really, and what if I decline?”

The dwarf’s face fell then, the first time she’d stopped smiling since Ell got there.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you think… I’m just so curious about magic that I can get a little overexcited. You don’t have to answer my questions of course, and I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable!”

_Dammit_. She kicked herself mentally for what she was about to do, and sighed out a heavy breath.

“Alright. Fine. You get five questions.”

Sometimes she was a fucking sap.

 

\-----

 

His attempts to use the computer on his own had been largely fruitless, having had virtually no instruction. When she left, she’d given little enough indication of when she intended to return, and he had expected it to be sooner than this. It was only so entertaining to read books that he’d all but memorized, and so he got as comfortable as was possible and went to sleep.

He had to be cautious here, traveling the Fade. Not only were people so abundant, but being discovered as an unregistered mage would lead to him being arrested, and likely imprisoned. Even if his powers had not been so diminished, it was still an outcome he needed to avoid.

It had not escaped his notice that she was nowhere to be found during the night as she slept, though he had not put much effort into locating her. If she wanted privacy, he would grant it, though her assistance in this might have been useful. Spirits were remarkably absent from the Fade here, something that was troubling indeed. It was usual for him to be greeted eagerly by its denizens, who were often very interested in sharing and interacting with visitors. His eye caught on a spirit of loneliness, sat of course alone, its pale, grey form sinking into the ground.

“Tell me friend,” he inquired, “where are the others?”

The spirit lifted its head slowly, releasing a pained sound at the effort.

“Gooone. Eeeeverrryyyyonnne iiiissss gooonnne,” it murmured, dragging each syllable as though simply speaking caused it great suffering.

“This place was once filled with spirits, surely some must remain. I wonder if you would share with me your memories, that I may gain a deeper understanding.”

It let out a weary sound, halfway between a sigh and a groan, nodding its head deep and slow.

“Yooooou wiiiilll leeeeave. Theeeyyyyy aaaaalllll leeeeeave.”

He saw a girl, not yet fully grown, huddled into herself and crying. Her face was obscured by the hands that covered it, but he recognized the voice when she spoke.

“You don’t need them, Ell. You don’t need _anyone_.”

He closed his eyes at the sob that broke her speech, a heartrending sound; the feelings she experienced all too familiar to him. The memories unfolded before his eyes, her solitude broken only by those who would offer betrayal or mockery. He felt suddenly that this was too personal for him to see; a liberty it was not right to take, even if it had been unintentional. It would be unwise indeed to not better understand the motives of his companion, but this was… it wasn’t right.

“Shhhhheeeee bllooockksss thhheee paaaaaiinnn buuuttt caaaannn neeevvveerrrr essscaaaaape iiiitt. Yooooou feeeeell iiiiittt toooo.”

Perhaps he did, but they were hardly the same. Though he was alone, he worked to right the wrongs of the past and to bring about a better future. She seemed only concerned with the here and now, and was uninterested in improving herself or in helping others. They may have shared experiences with the remotest of similarities, but they had precious little in common elsewise.

When he felt the nagging pull of his conscious calling him from the Fade, it was with resignation that he woke himself up. Likely the noises at the very edge of his hearing were not from an intruder, but rather that she had returned from wherever it was that she’d gone to. He did wonder if his time was not better spent seeking out other spirits to learn from in the Fade, considering that she had as yet proven to be less than accommodating.

He sat up slowly, finding her back turned to him as she busied herself in the kitchen. When the aroma of yeast hit his nostrils, he became keenly aware of his own hunger, and wondered if she was preparing enough for them both. Given the reluctance she’d already shown in sharing food, he found the prospect to be somewhat doubtful.

“Oh, you’re awake,” she told him, glancing briefly over her shoulder.

“It would appear so.”

He rose to standing and stretched out his limbs, still heavy with sleep.

“It was a lot of trouble and expense, but I got your ID. It’s on the table.”

That was a small thing at least, and meant he could be more independent soon. Perhaps she was not entirely incapable of being helpful after all. He reached down to examine the documents, his eyes immediately narrowing when he saw the name. _Oh yes, how terribly amusing_ , he thought, clenching his jaw.

“Tell me,” he began, “did you select the name yourself or was it someone else?”

“Oh, don’t you like it? I thought you’d prefer an elfy sounding one.”

Her tone was a little too even for him to believe her.

“Then it was you that chose… _Elvar Ha’ishan_?”

He felt the paper crumple as his fingers tensed, gently setting it back down so as to not damage it. Her body shook minutely, in a way that suggested she was laughing silently.

“Why, is there something wrong with it?” she asked, voice edged with a hint of humor.

When she did not turn around, he closed his eyes and let out a hard breath through his nose.

“I cannot imagine my being recorded as _difficult old man_ was a _coincidence_.”

She choked on the laughter spilling from her lips, still not turning to face him.

“Oh, is that what it means?” she asked, poorly feigning innocence.

“I must say I find myself impressed by your knowledge of the language, given the ignorance you usually display.”

“My _ignorance_?” she demanded, quickly turning and stepping towards him. “Fenedhis lasa,” she spat, glaring.

He couldn’t help the glimmer of amusement that came with hearing the curse, and felt the corner of his mouth twitch.

“Such crude language, yet I wonder if you are aware of the meaning.”

“Oh, does it not mean _fuck you_ , old man?”

“Not quite,” he informed her, taking a step forward.

That was not entirely true in this instance, given the implications of him being a wolf, but that was not information he intended to share.

“Really, well, what then?” She moved closer still, eyebrows raised in defiance.

He cleared his throat. They were very close now, enough that he noticed she smelled faintly of sugar. He found his thoughts inexplicably distracted by the scent, halting his mind’s attempts at a milder phrasing.

“I… fear it is inappropriate to say.”

He could not very well tell her what it meant… it was… _she_ was…

“Is it?” she asked, the smallest smirk spreading across her face as she pushed a finger into his chest.

“Yes.” His brow furrowed slightly as he grabbed her hand.

They stood that way a moment, much too close; mind drawn to the warmth of her hand in his and the insolent upward curl of her lips. Why had he not let go? Before he realized what was happening, she’d closed her eyes and leaned in, lips meeting his in a tentative kiss. His body was frozen, taken greatly by surprise, and when he did not return it, she backed away.

“Sorry, I –“

He cut her off with his mouth on hers, bending her backwards until she clung to him to stay on her feet. His body acted against his better judgment, a knee shoving roughly between her legs. They parted eagerly, her hips rocking instinctively onto his thigh as it pressed against her. She moaned into his mouth, fingers around his neck digging into the skin and making him growl. She ground harder against him at the sound, nipping at his lower lip and digging her nails in deeper.

Her other hand was crawling its way under his tunic to the waist of his breeches, and he squeezed her tighter, grip moving down her back. _What are you doing?!_ He cursed himself, breaking the kiss. This was a mistake.

“I… I am sorry. I cannot do this,” he explained, gently pulling her hands off him.

“…oh,” she muttered, dazed; her lips swollen. “I understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo, i'm thinking smut will be next chapter, but possibly one more after. sorry to be an wolf cockblock, but it would be way too ooc otherwise XD
> 
> and of course, if you want to keep up with me or my writing, you can find me on tumblr [here](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/), where i reblog an obscene amount of DA stuff.


	6. Conflict and Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ell's past wont let her rest, and Solas tries to focus on solving mysteries in the Fade. Ultimately, they end up pressed against each other, all but having sex on the dance floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: drug use mention. nausea/throwing up. both mild.

“Shit, shit, shit,” she cursed, pacing back and forth in her bedroom. “Nice going, Ell. Absolutely perfect.”

But he responded, didn’t he? Her lips barely touched him, and he was the one who brought in the tongue and the knee between her thighs and… her body still throbbed from the contact, but everything was so confusing.

“It’s just sex,” she told herself, “you just want him because he’s hot and an asshole, and that’s it.”

She breathed deeply, shaking out her arms and trying to calm herself, but wasn’t working. Why the hell did he affect her like this? It didn’t make any sense. The more she knew of him, the less she liked. He was haughty, and smug, and now sending her very mixed signals.

“This is just a giant fucking mess, you idiot. If you screwed this job up…”

She needed to get out of there, to put some space between them. Even knowing he was on the other side of the door, and thinking about how he was pressed against her just minutes ago… it was driving her crazy.  _He_  was driving her crazy. Maybe this wasn’t gonna work out after all.

 

\-----

 

He found himself standing before the door to her room, hand raised to knock, but unmoving. What had so possessed him to behave in such a manner? He was much too old for this behavior, and she was… everything about her was wrong. No, there could be no attraction beyond the physical, and he was unsure how or why that had manifested. It was utterly illogical.

And yet… was there not something in her eyes that spoke a truth her mouth would not? Her mouth… it said much more when she was kissing him, rather than speaking, but she was barely even a person. No, that was not true, or fair. She was vibrant, in her own unorthodox way, and she brought something out in him that had no right to exist at all.

Regardless of anything else, it was wrong. A dalliance was far too much to risk with how important his goal was, but he had felt her feelings in the Fade… so familiar her heart was to him; so like the one in his own chest. But no, he must not draw parallels between them. A very long lifetime of loneliness was driving him towards folly, and he must resist – he would resist.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply and shaking his head, willing the pulsing between his legs to desist. Even unable to understand the temptation as he was, he would not be bested by it; his will was much too strong. Besides, she could not know what her body asked of him; what his own body asked for. It all was impossible.

 

\-----

 

She opened the door quietly, tension still running high in her blood, and walked quickly through the apartment. From the corner of her eye, she saw him glance over once, and then avert his gaze, which was all the better. It was good for them not to talk, because she didn’t even want to  _think_ about what happened. Eventually, they’d have to have some kind of conversation, just to clear the air, but it couldn’t be right now. Maybe not ever, if it could be helped, she’d much rather avoid it completely.

“I, uh… I’m gonna… head out for a bit,” she bristled, fidgeting.

She couldn’t look at him. It was weird; things shouldn’t be this awkward. It was technically just a kiss. Okay, so it was a mind-blowing kiss and his tongue had magic powers, but she could forget about it. It’s not like it mattered, even if… hot damn. She sighed, kicking herself internally.

“Ellana, I…” he began, sitting up from where he lay on the couch.

“No,” she told him, waving a hand in the air, “let’s not do this. I’m fine. You’re fine. Not like that. Ugh, dammit. Just… let’s not. Eat something, do whatever, I need air. It’s not you. I shouldn’t have… can’t talk about this.”

And now she was fucking rambling, of all things. She really needed to get out of here. How did her safe place become so uncomfortable? What the hell was she even thinking in bringing him here? She didn’t bring anyone here, and sure enough, it was a mistake. What a surprise!

He was hanging his head, expression forlorn, and she felt a sudden pang in her chest. She didn’t care about him. She didn’t care about people. The only person she had was herself, and that’s all she wanted or needed. He shouldn’t even be here. He didn’t belong in this world, let alone in her apartment, and he needed to leave.

 

\-----

 

It was an odd dichotomy within him, his being glad she was leaving whilst simultaneously wanting to reach out to her and persuade her to stay. Increasing the physical distance between them, however, was a largely positive thing. Better he rein in his traitorous thoughts when she was not in such close proximity, as his success was much better assured.

Still, the tone of her voice, and the expression on her face… they had been  _different_. She had been vulnerable, exposed, and was uncomfortable with it, but she had not resorted to the sarcasm he was fast becoming acquainted with. In her eyes he had seen something… captivating. He was a fool, and it was imperative that he extricate himself from her life with as much haste as was possible.

 

\-----

 

The Basin sounded about right for the name. It was a hole in the wall that suited her well enough. No one cared who you were or why you were there, and as long as you didn’t bother anyone, nobody bothered you. _Usually_. When she heard the whistle, she knew who it was before even turning her head.

“Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” he mused, sidling up beside her.

“What do you want Hanon?” Just saying his name made her drink taste sour.

“If you keep being so mean to me, Ell, I’m really gonna start thinking you don’t like me.”

He offered her a winning smile and took the seat across from her in the booth. She felt her face contort in agitation.

“Funny, that was my intention,” she countered, slapping away the hand reaching for her glass. “Get your own.”

“See, I knew you couldn’t hate me,” he jeered.

She kicked him under the table when he raised his eyebrows playfully.

“With your _own_ money. You aren’t my problem anymore.”

He put his hands up defensively at her scowl, making her roll her eyes.

“You have to forgive me eventually, Ell. We’re family, after all.”

She scoffed. “We are _not_ family, Mahanon, and I don’t owe you shit.”

“Listen,” he pleaded, “I know I messed up bad, but you’re all I’ve got.”

“ _Messed up bad_?! Are you fucking kidding me!? You got me _arrested_. I’m lucky to be _alive_ , let alone walking free.”

“I know, and I’m sorry! How many damn times do I have to say I’m sorry? It’s been years. You can’t just hate me forever.”

“I worse than hate you Han, I don’t _trust you_ , and there’s no going back from that.”

“Please,” he begged, hands in prayer position, “we’re family, Ell.”

“We shared a foster home for three years, that doesn’t make us family. I’m sick of having this conversation. _You_ are not my problem.”

“I’m desperate, you don’t understand,” he explained, wiping his eyes as they filled with water.

“I don’t _need_ to understand. You made another fucking mess and you expect me to help you clean it up. I’m _done_ , and I want you out of my life. For good this time!”

It hurt when her hand smacked into the table, just a little too hard, but she couldn’t help it – she was furious. _Poor Han_ , messing up over and over again and expecting her to fix everything. No more. She was done. It’s bad enough with what happened with the Templars, but how many times had she tried to help him since they were kids, against her better judgment? Without fail, he screwed her over every time.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he bleated, finally standing to leave.

She closed her eyes and breathed out deeply, anger, regret, frustration, and guilt swirling together in her stomach and mixing with the alcohol. It didn’t feel great. _Fucking dammit_ , she thought, kicking the bench across from her. He was like a fucking germ, burrowing under her skin and infecting her with his sickness. _Just rip off the band aid_ , she thought, fighting the sense of responsibility wriggling around in her skull.

“You’re not my problem anymore,” she affirmed, trying to convince herself that she believed it.

 

\-----

 

He was restless, his brain replaying the events over in his head. If he could only anesthetize himself to the kiss, then it would be so much simpler.

“You will call demons with thoughts like those,” whispered Caution, its bright, yellow form wavering in and out of view.

“Yes, you are right. I must try harder. Tell me, I seek a spirit of Compassion. It frequented these parts many years ago, and it went by the name of Cole.”

“Ooooh,” Caution whimpered, vanishing briefly. “We don’t talk about _that_.”

“Why?” Solas wondered, stemming the tide of dread rising up inside him.

Hesitation was the spirit’s nature, but it seemed as though there was more to it.

“They hurt us if we get too close. Punishes. We hide now. Safe.”

“What do you hide from? Who is it that will punish you?”

“No. Can’t say. Must go!”

Before he could say another word, the spirit disappeared, only this time it did not return.

“Do not mind it!” a glowing, blue spirit brightened, speaking with the voice of a child. “Caution is always afraid, but not me!”

“Ah, Curiosity, it is nice to see you.”

“Is it? Why is it nice? Why are you called Pride?” It bobbed up and down as it spoke, shaking slightly with excitement.

“There are far fewer spirits here than I expected, and it worries me. That, friend, is not a story I can share.”

“Worried? Why? Is it because of the… but no, I don’t want to talk about that, I want to know about YOU!”

It flitted about, much like a bird, human-like fingers extending from its form to reach out, close to touching him.

“Do you know of any spirits who may help me, Curiosity? There are important answers I seek, and I have not the time for questions just now.”

Curiosity, though generally good-natured, was often too interested in its own pursuits to truly be helpful.

“I don’t know. We should go look! It will be an adventure. Have you ever been on an adventure? No one ever wants to take me anywhere anymore. Do you know why, Solas?”

It stopped moving then, growing tall enough to peer into his face with glowing, azure eyes.

“I do not, but perhaps we can find out.”

“Great!” it chirped, buzzing anxiously.

He shook his head, lips curling into a small smile. It brought him hope that the simple spirit was able to endure the darkness of this world; without becoming corrupted. Even if they were not his first choice of companion, he was happy to travel the Fade with them nonetheless.

 

\-----

 

The shove came as a surprise, her body colliding with hard brick before she had time to react. With the wind knocked out of her, the booze in her system left her spinning. She needed to clear her head fast, and without using magic. _He_ would find her alone in the dark, forcing her into an alley.

“What the _fuck_ do you want, Samson?” she spat, flames rising under her skin to dull the icy shiver of fear.

“Your brother, Lavellan. I know that you know where he is.”

She tried pulling herself up the wall he threw her into, but the swimming in her head knocked her right back to the ground.

“I don’t… have… a brother,” she slurred, nausea starting to overwhelm the anger.

“Don’t bullshit me, knife-ear,” he threatened, moving closer to her. “Where is Mahanon?”

She had to be careful here; overplaying her hand could land her in deep water. He wasn’t a Templar anymore, but that didn’t mean he was friendless. Still, it was an uphill battle keeping her sarcasm in check.

“He’s not my problem anymore, and neither are you. I’m sick of this _bullshit_. I want you all out of my life!”

She smacked her palm into the ground, little rocks and pieces of glass digging in and drawing blood. _Idiot_ , she chided herself.

“You’d better not be lying to me,” he sneered at her, not achieving as menacing a look as he intended.

She wanted to ask ‘or what’ so badly that she was barely able to bite back the words.

“Whatever. Just leave me the fuck alone.”

Maybe she wouldn’t snipe at him, but that didn’t mean she would be nice. She was obviously starting to feel a little better, since the anger was winning out against the nausea. That changed when she finally stood up, and a heavy fist smashed into her stomach.

“If you see that little junkie piece of shit, I better hear about it,” he warned, skulking away when she began to retch.

“Fucking asshole,” she choked out, wiping her mouth.

You’d think an addict wouldn’t say nasty things like that, but, as she reminded herself, it wasn’t her problem. Besides, Samson basically did her a favor. Even if she’d have some nasty bruises tomorrow, she felt a lot better after throwing up.

She kicked the wall behind her with her heel, pissed that she couldn’t go home because Solas was there. He was the last person she wanted to see right now. Well, okay, so not the _last_. At least, since she was feeling better, she might as well have a few more drinks, and she knew just where to go, Haven.

With any luck, the music would even be decent tonight, and she could dance away any residual stress that the alcohol didn’t take care of. Maybe she was being irresponsible and she was definitely wasting money, but dammit. She was tired of everything and needed a break in the worst way.

 

\-----

 

His concern about her safety had been a purely utilitarian thing, he told himself. If anything were to happen, he would need to start afresh, and so much time had already been wasted. No, he would ensure that she was safe for the time being, and once he was knowledgeable enough to be self-reliant, then what happened to her was of no interest to him.

It was useful that the spirit of Caution had alerted him to the danger, though she would likely prove ungracious. She expressed well enough her disinterest in the Fade for him to expect better. It mattered little, as she was currently his only link to this world. He did not however, expect to find her in the first place he’d been in this city, the building where they’d emerged from the Eluvian.

It was loud, of course, his senses overwhelmed by the booming vibrations that shook the floor beneath his feet; his nose assaulted by the sharp and unmistakable scent of alcohol. He did not know whether to be surprised at her being here, but his mouth dropped open minutely when he saw her, his teeth smacking together when he slammed his jaw shut.

There she was, in an overcrowded room, moving her body in a way he could only describe as _erotic_. Her spine undulated in rhythm with her hips, as her arms swirled through the air, forming abstract shapes. Even with the subtle sloppiness he suspected was the result of her having over-imbibed, it was… an astonishing sight to behold. She danced with a sort of fluid grace that left him unable to look away.

Staring at her, he wondered if the spirit had been mistaken, or had planned this somehow, until he noticed the dried blood on her right hand. She seemed to be in no danger at present, though perhaps in need of a chaperone of sorts. He was here now, and he may as well make himself of use.

“Of course you’re here,” she told him, words slightly slurred, when he’d gotten near enough for them to hear each other speak.

“You were expecting me then?” he asked, curious, raising an eyebrow.

“No, but it figures. I go out of my way to avoid you, and you show up anyway.”

He found it difficult to focus while he so close, her body urging his eyes to wander. Perhaps he should not have come, but the warning had seemed so urgent.

“I could go, if you like, but you are injured. At least let me heal you before taking my leave.”

She rolled her eyes, turning her back to him. Much to his dismay, the view had actually improved from this vantage. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat almost painful.

“Stay, go, it’s all the same to me,” she assured, looking at him from over her shoulder.

Damn him, but he did worry if he should not stay, at least to make certain she was safe. The city was a dangerous place, particularly at night, and she _was_ injured.

“I do not think I should leave you alone,” he explained, hands crossed over his chest.

“Really? Here I thought you just wanted to watch me _dance_.”

He cleared his throat. The lurid taunt had not gone unnoticed, especially as she seemed to be sticking her backside out towards him now.

“I did no such thing,” he sputtered, sounding believable not even to himself.

“Oh, is that so?” she teased, turning back around and folding her arms behind her back.

He shook his head at the mocking posture, and turned to walk away. When she reached out to stop him, the smallest tug on his forearm had him pulling back in against her, lips greedily seeking hers. Her tongue teased into his mouth, sensation sparking through him as he flicked his own against it. His senses were lost in the kiss, his body too desperate to let his mind take control.

When they broke for air, she shifted, once again turning away from him. Before he could regain his mental faculties, she reached behind her and tugged him forward until her body was flush against his, jerking when she felt how hard he was. He was startled at first, the action far too intimate for such a public space, but she expressed no concern. Indeed, looking around the room, no one else seemed even to notice them.

He closed his eyes, driven near delirious as her body ground into him. She shivered as his tongue traced the shell of her ear, dragging one of his hands upwards to her breast. Her body jolted sharply as he squeezed, a thumb dragging over her nipple. She gasped, leaning her head deeper into his shoulder, and pushing his other hand downwards as she continued to rock her hips hypnotically.

“This,” he panted, “isn’t right. You’ve been drinking, and I-“

“Shhh,” she insisted, tuning to face him and pushing a finger against his mouth. “Have I been drinking? Yes. Am I drunk? No. I’m fully aware of what I’m doing.”

“And what is that?” he asked, nipping at her finger.

Well,” she told him, kissing and licking the edge of his jaw, “I believe they call this a seduction.”

“Is it? And which one of us then is being seduced, I wonder?”

“You smug bastard,” she growled, turning his chuckle into a restrained groan when her fingers snaked under his shirt and her nails dragged down the flesh of his back.

“You are not the first to say so.”

As the smirk drew across his face, she dug deeper, causing him to shudder.

“Let’s go, _old man_ ,” she jibed, relinquishing her hold on him. “I think it’s time you took me to bed.”

“Yes, sleep would likely be quite beneficial to you,” he suggested, not less than halfway serious, despite the ache in his groin.

“Don’t plan on either of us getting any sleep tonight,” she winked, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i yo-yoed a bit much in this chapter. did it work alright, or too much back and forth?
> 
> sorry again for more UST, but there will be proper smut in the next chapter, i think.
> 
> my tumblr is [here](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/) if you want to keep up with me there.


	7. Build Up and Release (NSFW)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive at her apartment, but the mood has changed. This chapter is NSFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay! the good news is that this chapter is twice as long as usual. it's also REALLY smutty, but only the second half. thanks to the ever lovely breathing2nd who gave me the critique i needed to get this chapter whipped into shape.

The walk back to the apartment had effectively ruined the mood. Before, they’d both been nearly overcome with lust, and now things were just kind of quiet, and  _awkward_. Holding hands would’ve been weird and uncomfortable, and they weren’t exactly in a casual affection type of place with each other anyway.

On the dance floor, things had been hot and heavy, to say the least. Air humping, if she was being honest about it, and fuck had it felt good to feel him rubbing up against her… Now though, they weren’t touching or talking, and the chilly, evening breeze seemed to blow the sex right out of the air. Exhibitionism wasn’t really her thing, and she suspected it wasn’t his either, but hell, anything had to be better than this. All that tension and anticipation, and she was really hoping for a payoff.

She wouldn’t try to force herself on him, not that she’d needed to anyway - he was a more than willing participant, despite her having to initiate things. The moment she did, he more than reciprocated, which was a pretty enthusiastic sign of interest… at least she thought.

This hot/cold thing was not working for her. It wasn’t like she wanted commitment, or some kind of emotional intimacy, so what was the problem? He didn’t seem like the kind of person that played games, but maybe he was getting off on delayed gratification or something. Whatever it was, she couldn’t take much more teasing, and she certainly wasn’t gonna beg.  
  


\-----

 

It was good things had calmed down once they were outside. Engaging in such reckless behavior was inexcusable, and it could not happen again. His intention was not to toy with her, which he felt he was doing, but his every attempt to distance himself was foiled by baser instincts he could barely control. He did wonder if he should not simply let run things run their course; remove it from his system as it were, but that was a terrible idea.

They needed to discuss this, as adults, but he felt fairly certain that was not a possibility. Was she even to be reasoned with? It seemed hopeless, though she did not appear to be especially pleased with the situation either. He had, once again, landed in a very fine mess of his own making, which seemed only to worsen with his every attempt to fix it.

Outside the apartment she hesitated a moment, perhaps waiting to observe his actions. Automatically, he removed the spell on the boarded entrance, and she went immediately inside, before he’d had a chance to view her reaction. Before following her, he took a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling slowly; steeling himself against temptation.

 

\-----

 

The smug bastard removed the spell himself, like it was nothing. Oh, look at me, nine million year old elf, don’t need to practice magic, I live in the Fade, blah blah. Why exactly was she so annoyed? Honestly, she wasn’t entirely sure. The whole night… no, actually, her whole life since she met him was just a mess.

Tonight had really been spectacular what with Mahanon and Samson and she wasn’t fucking worried because whatever, not her problem. Besides, she could handle a drunken ex-Templar without her magic if she had to, so what was bothering her? Actually, never mind, she thought; she didn’t really want to know.

The one perk she thought she was getting out of all of this was sex. No strings or feelings or stupid bullshit drama or her life veering dangerously close to off track. It had been a while, and she needed release – she needed to push down the stupid shit that was refusing to stay where she’d buried it inside her. He was here, being his stupid, annoying self, and right now she couldn’t deal with anything else.

 

\-----

 

She seemed to be upset, which he considered might be an improvement, but not if it lead to her reacting physically. He supposed it somewhat reasonable for her to be irritated with him, his having taken things much farther than he should have, but there did seem to be more to it than that. She neither spoke nor looked in his direction, but stood rather still, mind grappling with thoughts he could only guess at.

“Goodnight, Ellana,” he said quietly, causing her finally to look in his direction.

She rolled her eyes and he wanted suddenly to bite her – an impulse he immediately silenced.

“It’s Ell, just Ell, and there’s nothing good about tonight.”

“My apologies,” he offered, lowering his head. “My actions were inexcusable and I –“

“Wow, that’s some ego you have on you,” she sniped, cutting him off and unleashing the flood of internal chastisement.

“I did not mean to imply that – “

She put a hand up, effectively silencing him. “Save it, alright? Just go to sleep.”

She looked tired then, he realized, her eyes much wearier than they’d seemed before. Closing his own, he released a small breath through his nose, as he felt the guilt building up within him. What was wrong did not involve him, but he worried if attempting to help would indeed create a worse problem between them. Besides, she was likely to refuse him outright. Even so, he should still try, should he not?

“Ell,” he called softly, interrupting her walk to the bedroom.

“What?” Her tone was cold, and she did not look at him.

“If you would care to discuss what is bothering you, perhaps – “

“No,” she affirmed, interrupting his thought, and then sighed, voice softening. “Listen, it’s nice of you to offer, but no. I just need to sleep, and I’ll be fine.”

“Perhaps in the Fade,” he began, stopping when she shook her head.

“I don’t really do… the whole ‘Fade thing’.”

His eyes narrowed, confused and a little annoyed. Fade  _thing_?

“Explain, if you please, what precisely you mean by that.”

She let out a weary sigh, shaking her head and groaning.

“The Fade. I don’t go there. Haven’t been in years, and don’t plan to in the future. What’s to understand?”

He could tell she was growing irritable by the way she fidgeted, scratching her upper arm.

“You do not… walk the Fade as you sleep?”

He was, at this point, not a little incredulous.

“No, I don’t.” Her voice was forceful, antagonistic.

 

\-----

 

What didn’t he understand? She didn’t go to the Fade, _okay_? It wasn’t a big deal; lots of mages didn’t go there anymore. Was he trying to pick a fight with her? On the one hand, that would probably lead to more groping, and on the other hand, it would probably end there, too. He seemed to know just what buttons to press to get under her skin, but that wasn’t where she wanted him…

“How is such a thing accomplished, and more importantly, why would someone willingly cut themselves off from the Fade?”

She took a step forward, looking at his face through narrowed eyes. If this was some kind of game to him, fine, she could play for now, but she was playing to win.

“It’s a potion. They call it Dwarf Sleep, because it stops you from dreaming.”

Did he know he was doing this, baiting her on purpose?

“You are a mage; it is where your magic  _comes_ from,” he huffed, walking towards her. “Why stop there? The Rite of Tranquility would sever your connection completely.”

Damn him, he was such an asshole! Her hands balled into fists as she moved closer, the irritation inside her blossoming into anger. If he wanted to fight, then fine, she’d fucking fight!

“I wouldn’t expect a  _relic_  like you to understand!” she snapped, shoving her finger into his chest.

“Better a relic than a  _shadow_ ,” he hissed though a clenched jaw.

She wasn’t really finding this whole thing flattering, to be honest. It was like the only way he could acknowledge his attraction to her, or… no, he’d never admit it, but the only way he was willing to act on it was under the guise of anger. Maybe she was getting off on it too, but she didn’t much care for it otherwise.

“Ah, so that’s it then,” she snarled. “Feel sick with yourself for wanting to fuck a shadow, so you start a fight with me first, and then you can blame you actions on the heat of the moment?”

His eyes opened wide, a horrified expression on his face.  Was she wrong, or did it not feel so good to hear the truth spoken out loud?

 

\-----

 

“You think that I would… “ he sputtered, not truly as offended as he sounded.

“Well, aren’t you?” she accused, eyebrows rising in defiance.

He shook his head, closed his eyes, and huffed out a breath.

“Ir abelas, lethallan,” he told her earnestly, bowing his head. “If that is indeed the impression I have given you, then I am sorry. It is not… I misspoke.”

“Did you?” she accused. “So which is it then? You don’t want to have sex with me, or you don’t think I’m some kind of lower life form?”

He cleared his throat, tugging at the collar of his shirt. Her unwillingness to let it go was unsurprising, but he did wish this could be simpler. Though he did not generally lie outright, being honest was often a difficult thing. Still, he saw little alternative if they were to move past this, and his behavior towards her had been nothing short of inexcusable.

“I,” he paused, letting out a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose.

She looked at him, impatient; her hands moving to her hips.

“You are different, but you are not less, and it was wrong of me to suggest otherwise.” He had meant to end it there, but continued when she raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Even so, any sort of physical relationship between us would be… unwise.”

“I’m not gonna try to force you into something you don’t want, but you seemed pretty interested before.”

“It is not, that is…” he sighed irritably. She should not affect him so. “There are things you do not know; it would not be right.”

She stepped forward, and he moved back, wanting simultaneously to be closer to and further from her.

“Honestly, I don’t care. I’m not interested in the past or the future, Solas. You either want me or you don’t, and if you don’t, then stop baiting me… And don’t deny it, because you know it’s true.”

Had he been? He shook his head wearily, yes, he had. He had been an ass, and she was not to blame for it.

“You claim to want this, but how can you be certain?” he asked, not quite believing he was entertaining this line of conversation.

“Because I know myself,” she explained, taking a step forward. “Better than most people seem to think.”

“Something we have in common, I suspect.”

“Oh?” she teased, “perish the thought.”

“A terrifying thing indeed,” he chuckled, not wholly uncomfortable despite the small space between them.

“Tell me to go, Solas. Say you don’t want this, and I’ll stop.”

“I cannot admit to what I do not feel, but this is a mistake.”

“What are we doing?” she asked innocent, moving her hand to the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss.

He had warred with himself, but it had been fruitless. What purpose did it serve now? She threatened nothing, and did she truly ask for more than he could give her? What real harm was there in taking some small comfort when so little was to be found? There could be nothing more than this between them, but there was no dishonesty. It may not be real, but he could give her this – make her forget her pains, if only for a moment.

 

\-----

 

His lips moved with practiced skill, his tongue flicking against hers in a way that made her squirm. Heat pooled in her belly, thighs squeezing tightly together to fight the sudden need inside her, as she imagined what else he could use it for.

She walked him backwards until he collided into the wall with a heavy thud. He paused for a moment, surprised, and she reached down to pull her top off, fingers moving suggestively to the hem of his shirt and tugging upwards. They kissed again briefly, rushed, parting so she could remove it before their bodies crashed together impatiently.

The contact of skin touching skin was electric; her breasts pushed against the hard muscles of his chest. _Mmm,_ _not bad,_ she thought, feeling herself grow wet as she reached behind him to drag her nails down his back. He jerked against her, hands reaching lower to palm her ass. Good to know that he liked a little pain.

He lifted her up, turning them around, and pushed her hard against the wall. She squeezed her thighs around his waist as he fumbled with the clasp on her bra, making her laugh. Her insolence was rewarded with a sharp nip at her jaw, not hard enough to break skin, but enough to send a pulse straight between her legs. She bucked against him and he groaned, biting her hard on the neck.

He set her down, hands kneading the flesh of her back as she unfastened her pants. Moving lower, his tongue and teeth dragged across the skin between her breasts, his hands pulling down the fabric at her hips. Her back arched slightly, hand reaching up to brace herself, palm flattening against the wall.

His nails dragged down her legs, pushing her pants to her ankles. She stepped free of them, her lower body now bare. He bit painfully into her thigh and she groaned, thighs clenching tightly together. She began to throb, a deep pulse running through her core. _Oh Gods._

Warm hands pulled her legs apart, the breath hitching in her throat as greedy fingers dug into her ass. He teased her, nose running along her inner thigh, and she urged him closer by twisting her hips. He chuckled low, tickling her skin, before his tongue slowly traced a path up her center, already wet and waiting; the sweet relief making her moan. She squirmed when he hummed his approval, his tongue sliding inside her.

She cried out, little electric shocks running across her flesh, as he sucked and licked her clit. _Fuck_ , she didn’t know you could use magic like that, and she wanted _more_. Her hips bucked hard against him, the nails of her free hand raking across his scalp. As though he could read her thoughts, he sent another arc thundering through her, strong enough to make her twitch.

Her body began to shake, control falling away as his clever mouth moved against her, the energy shooting through her body; setting her nerves on fire. Her body contracted uncontrollably, fighting against the waves of pleasure. Rising higher and higher, her back bowing under the strain, as they finally broke over.

She was ready to collapse under the weight, but he would not relent. It was too much, overstimulated as he was, and she hissed, pushing his head away. He released his grip on her ass, one hand sliding between her legs to slip long, nimble fingers inside her. She trembled as he sent another burst of lightning through her, and he stood, arm reaching around her waist to keep her upright.

His fingers moved expertly, thrusting and circling against her walls; building her back up with an even greater intensity. He bit into her neck, hard, her body jerking upwards. She brought her hands to his back, clinging for dear life; nails carving deep gouges in his flesh. He groaned in her ear, shifting to push himself into her thigh, his hardness sending a dizzying shockwave through her.

He pulled his fingers almost all the way out, shoving them back inside her harder, rougher, his hips grinding his cock against her. She whimpered, biting her lower lip hard enough to bruise, her nails pushing harder into his skin. He snapped at her neck, growling, and she started cresting, her body tightening around his fingers rhythmically, sensation exploding in a flash of white.

She cried out, overcome, as his fingers slowed within her, and he stopped rocking his hips. Her limbs went slack as she sagged into him, the muscles in her legs nonfunctioning, as the aftershocks raced through her. His body became rigid as she leaned on him, unmoving for a moment before he bent slightly to pick her up, one arm beneath her knees and the other around her waist. Any part of her brain that might protest was silenced by his warmth, her face cradling into the curve of his neck.

He carried her into her room, walking slowly, and laid her carefully on the bed, almost reverently. It all felt kind of nice, but she’d probably change her opinion when her brain started functioning again. When he turned to walk away, she caught his hand and pulled, not as hard as she’d meant to. Still, he sat down.

 

\-----

 

“Mmm,” she mewled, “where’re you going?”

There was mischief in her voice and it made him chuckle, raising an eyebrow.

“I thought you might like to rest.”

It was also wise that they go no further, despite the ache in his groin.

“You smug _bastard_ ,” she purred, raising her leg and kicking him playfully in the side.

“Yes, I believe that has been previously established.”

“Come here,” she ordered, not sounding like the command she likely intended.

Her resolve was impressive, though he doubted the veracity of her claims, her body not lifting from the mattress. Still, he obeyed, lying beside her and acquiescing when her mouth slated over his. Languidly their tongues twined together, more affectionately than should be comfortable. There was little doubt in his mind she would regain her combativeness in the morning, and all the better they both would be for it.

When a hand tugged at the edge of his breeches, her grabbed her by the wrist, halting her attempt.

“That is not necessary,” he explained.

“Oh, I think it is,” she assured him, propping herself up on her elbow.

He shook his head, relenting despite himself, and released his grip. Deftly, she unfastened the closure and teased her hand inside the fabric of his smallclothes. His hips rolled instinctively as her palm moved against him, eyes closing at the nearly painful throb of his erection.

“Take your pants off,” she instructed, pulling away, and finally removing the odd covering from her breasts.

With only a small measure of reluctance, he complied. How long had it been since he’d been touched? It meant nothing, and yet it was _everything_. Still, he deserved not the comforts he so craved. His body betrayed him, aching for this closeness, even with the knowledge that it was a mistake.

He should have stopped this, walked away before things went further, but he could not will himself to do so. Skillful fingers teased across his abdomen, soft lips and warm tongue trailing across his skin. This small regret would matter little when weighed against all the rest. Perhaps it was not so wrong… but no, he –

He groaned, teeth dragging along the shell of his ear. She’d wet her palm with her tongue, and began slowly stroking him. He wondered, at her expression, if the slow pace was intended as punishment, but he would not urge her on. Even if it was what she wanted.

She reached with her unoccupied hand for his, pulling it up to her breast. Obediently, he massaged, thumb tracing circles over her nipple until she moaned, her hand on him stilling. Reflexively his hips pushed up against it, and she laughed, smirking at him.

“I’m gonna need you to be on top,” she explained, hand squeezing him gently.

He nodded, positioning himself between her legs as her hand guided him toward her sex. He felt a jolt run through him when the tip touched her, hot and wet. She gasped as he slowly lowered himself, pushing inside her. His control was tested by the sudden surge of warm pleasure, and he fought to hold himself back. He waited a moment, letting her adjust to the feel of him within her, before slowly rocking out and in.

He closed his eyes, jaw clenching, the long, slow strokes driving him nearly mad. She rolled her hips with each thrust, their bodies meeting in a hypnotic rhythm. She pulled him lower, nails raking across his shoulders, his tongue circling one taut nipple. She twitched, searing heat running through him as he drove himself deeper inside her.

“Harder,” she demanded, his restraint already fraying at the edges.

She seemed quite pleased with herself, teeth teasing her lower lip as she watched him, teetering on the edge of losing control. Her nails bit further into his skin, provoking him into action. It was only right to give her what she wanted, part of him hoping she’d pretend to resist. She made no effort to hide that she liked the struggle, something he enjoyed more than he should.

He lifted his hips, hardened length aching as he withdrew from her, inspiring a most enticing whine. He grabbed her hands, forcing them against the bed, and he kissed her, biting her tongue when it darted into his mouth. He grinned wickedly when she snarled at him, shoving her onto her stomach.

His hand curled around his shaft and stroked, thumb caressing the head. He pushed himself against her slick heat as she reached for him, an attempt to force his advance. He denied her; denied them both, his hand lifting in the air. He brought it down hard against the soft flesh soft flesh of her backside, striking with a loud smack. She moaned loudly, the lurid sound sending a pulse straight through him.

He could withstand no more teasing, and hilted himself within her, thrusting long and slow, as she writhed beneath him. His tongue traced a path along her skin, his teeth tearing at the flesh of her shoulder. She cried out, cursing, fingers gripping tightly into the bedding. With his arms, he pinned her in place, each hand gripping one of her wrists, as he thrust harder and faster inside her.

It was torture for them both, blinding pleasure coupled with biting pain. He sent frost along her skin until she shivered, burning it away with a whisper of flame. Her trembling body fought against him, desperate for the relief he refused her, slowly pulling out and then burying himself inside her, again and again, at a torturous pace.

He had driven himself too high to hold out much longer, his own orgasm trying to claw its way to freedom. Desperately, she whimpered, and he sped up to spare them both, his careful control preserved through sheer force of will. Electricity arced across her body, stimulating her every nerve, a guttural moan tearing from her throat.

Her arms fought against him, nearly breaking his hold, and he bit down hard into her back, nearly breaking skin. She groaned, overwhelmed, and he sent another jolt of energy sparking through her, with punishing intensity.

He dropped his hold then, grabbing her shaking hips, and drove himself into her faster, fighting against the end that threatened to overtake him. She clenched around him tightly, crying out; enabling him to at last lose control. Finally, he let himself break, his climax cresting so high that it burned, his tormented flesh desperate for relief.

 

\-----

 

After a few shallow thrusts he sagged against her, and she awkwardly patted his hand. His forehead pressed into her neck, ragged breaths too hot on her skin. She wanted to push him off, feeling uncomfortable, but some odd feeling of guilt or obligation nagged at her. He needed this maybe even more than she did, and a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt, except that he _was_ still inside her. _I’ve survived worse_ , she thought.

“Solas,” she spoke softly.

“Mmmm,” he mumbled, not lifting his head.

“My hips are gonna die if you don’t get off me soon.”

He cleared his throat, “yes, of course. My apologies.”

His voice sounded so guilty that she wanted to cringe, but that didn’t mean she _cared_. Slowly, carefully, he lifted himself up, pulling out of her as gently as possible. She winched, letting out a small hiss, and soothing warmth spread suddenly between her legs. Healing magic, she suspected. Maybe she would let him teach her something, after all.

He looked so _broken,_ like every part of himself that he worked so hard to hold together just fell apart. On top of destroying the post-coital bliss she was using to escape her own problems, it made her feel like shit because it felt like her fault. And maybe he _was_ an asshole, but he didn’t deserve to feel whatever made him look like _that_.

When he crawled to the edge of the bed, she grabbed his arm, causing him to turn abruptly. The face that met her was set, hard as stone; a near perfect mask.

“You should… uh… you know, you can stay if you want.” _Gods, this was painful_.

He looked at her strangely, raising an eyebrow.

“I suspected you might prefer me to leave.”

“You’re here already, so… ehhhh.”

Sometimes, she hated herself.

“Thank you,” he offered politely, giving her a small nod.

“Whatever. Just don’t read more into it than there is,” she warned.

She could swear the smallest hint of a smile crossed his lips, for just a minute, but she decided not to think about it too hard. No, it was much better to sleep than to think, and they could probably both use some sleep right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew! with that out of the way, i think i'm going to give some much needed attention to my other fics, that i've been neglecting since i started this one XD
> 
> i might be having a small giveaway soon, so keep an eye out for that on my [tumblr](http://unicornforcewinds.tumblr.com/)


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